Chronicle delivery­woman put the ‘pee’ in paper

When you gotta go, you gotta go. But do you have to do it in an elevator?

Apparently, yes, at least for one Chronicle deliverywoman recently caught with her pants down during her early morning routine.

Along with the daily news, the woman was sprinkling an unfortunate Marina apartment elevator with her urine on what residents believe was a daily basis. After weeks of finding the floor of their elevator as yellowed and damp as a rain-sodden newspaper, one resident decided to set up a hidden camera to find the culprit.

Dan Stengink, a resident of the building at Chestnut and Fillmore, set up the camera after three months of enduring a pee-scented elevator. The culprit was assumed to someone who had a beef with the building, and either male or homeless.

Due to the high volume of urine dripping into the elevator’s machinery, the damage even necessitated a carpet replacement. It was peed on the very next day.

The video captured last week revealed a woman in her mid-20s, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, who came to deliver the papers in the wee hours of the morning.

She would deliver papers to two apartments, on the first and third floors, going to the third floor first. During the brief ride to the third floor, the video shows her quickly drop trou and squat in what was evidently the established “pee corner” of the elevator.

While accidents do happen, the deliverywoman seemed to have a very deliberate intention to desecrate the unsuspecting elevator every chance she got. Whether the need to mark her territory was borne out of a medical condition, personal vendetta or an aimless prank spun out of control, the early morning tinklings baffled all those affected.

The task of cleaning the elevator every other day fell on the building manager, who eventually complained to the Chronicle. Afterwards, the daily dousing of urine stopped, and the woman still delivers to the building. The particularly compassionate residents of the building did not report her to police, for fear of threatening her job.

Aside from saying the Chronicle did not condone the “alleged behavior,” the paper declined to make further comment.

For now, residents can rest assured that it won’t be used as a personal restroom, and the deliverywoman can congratulate herself on the decision to wear a hoodie the day that camera was rolling.