This Week In Orange: Bring yo’ brooms


It’s rivalry weekend, Orange & Black Nation!

I don’t know about the rest of you, Giants fans, but I am NOT content with our boys in uniform not getting the sweep multiple series in a row.

Despite valiant efforts in both Atlanta and Philadelphia against two competitive ball clubs, I still have a hard time accepting that we didn’t sweep either dogmeat Houston OR drain-circling San Diego.

(And do NOT get me started on how we played against that sub-par pitcher Jason Marquis on Wednesday.)

The Giants might be 7.3 in their last 10 games and 31-17 at home, but hey: I expect perfection from the team I bleed for.

Now we’ve come to my all-around favorite series: The Giants-Dodgers weekend run.

Even those of us that didn’t score tickets to the yard this weekend will surely be at the bar or at a fellow Giants fan’s house screaming at the TV. And if you’re a hard-ass like me, you’re out looking to start a tussle with any Los Angeles fan thick enough to pop off.

The Giants swept LA last time they bounced up to San Francisco. And the Dodgers haven’t tasted the top of the NL West since.

Those pesky Dodgers are currently three games back in our division. And  as one member of my diehard Giants fan Facebook group pointed out:

“Let’s make it six back by Sunday!”

So if you have the stomach to battle that nasty shade of blue all weekend — and potentially back up this miniature blonde in a bar rumble with some out-of-towners — pull up a stool, order yourself an amber ale, and prepare for some serious smack-talking:

Oh Panda: Let’s be honest, as amazing as that Crawford-to-Theriot-to-Sandoval third out was on Tuesday night — defensive perfection by any baseball snob’s standards — pandas just aren’t  meant to do the splits like that.

Sandoval’s Wednesday morning MRI confirmed a left hamstring strain, though he hopes to stay off the DL and only miss a few games.

And while I know that my man BiBBles — yes, I nicknamed Brandon Belt BiBBles —  is working his behind off, we still need Sandoval’s bat in that starting lineup.  Sandoval has two doubles and four RBIs against Los Angeles this season. And I would love to see those stats double this weekend.

The Mystery Pitcher: Many of you might have noticed that the Dodgers have yet to announce who will be taking the mound versus Matt Cain in Friday night’s series opener.

Here’s the background: LA originally had slated right-hander Nate Eovaldi (1-6) to start. Who, if you recall, the Giants hit pretty well off of last he faced us.

However, this is also trade season, and Eovaldi was dealt to the Miami Marlins for struggling infielder Hanley Ramirez. We’re still waiting to hear who the Dodgers are putting on the bump Friday night.

And while we’re talking about pitching…

Cain: Hell hath no fury like a Horsey scorned.

I seriously doubt that he’s going to let that Dodger blue tarnish his 10-3 record, or his 2.74 ERA.

I will accept nothing short of a sweep this weekend, Giants fans. So bust yo’ brooms out!!

Peace, Love and Late-Summer-Domination.

Porn viewing courtesy of SF Public Library

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