Street-fabulous fireworks light up Bay

Happy Fifth of July everybody! No? Then let’s pretend.

(Yes, mid-week holidays do stink. Let’s not give employers any ideas about one-day weekends or anything. Not sure about you, but any nonsense talk like that and my wrists start hurting. Bad.)

Festive Americans throughout the land exhausted their one, singular, measly day off to celebrate their country’s birthday in all the traditional ways: parades, barbecues and of course, fireworks.

In rural areas, dry conditions led to curbs on even “safe and sane” fireworks. Some public fireworks displays were scaled back or even canceled to reduce the risk of unwanted fire.

In urban areas like San Francisco, thousands gathered for the official, professionally-deployed fireworks show along the waterfront.

Spectacular and well-executed as it was, though, it found itself upstaged by would-be pyrotechnicians showering glittering displays down upon more humble city streets.

SFBay observed — regrettably, sans camera — a homemade outburst of patriotism that practically lit up Webster near Golden Gate for the better part of a minute Wednesday night. The bright, colorful bursts were set off not by a team of well-orchestrated professionals with timers and walkie-talkies, but by a couple of guys in hoodies with lighters.

And while the expensive airborne toys of KGO and KTVU both captured footage of Oakland’s over-the-top street-fabulous fireworks shows, KTVU also showed us how East Palo Alto is cracking down with 12 extra officers gobbling up illegal fireworks on patrol.

In the world of reality fireworks, we feel compelled to leave the judging to you.