Four Loko ban looms in Marin

Absolutely, positively, under no circumstances whatsoever does any successful, fun, love-to-relive-it night full of drinking ever start out with:

“We started off drinking Four Loko…”

It just doesn’t.

Nothing good comes out of a night of debauchery that in any way, shape, or form, involves Four Loko.

Nor does it ever start out with pretending that overly-sugar-loaded Smirnoff Ices, Parrot Bays, or Jeremiah Weeds ever result in a good time.

Unfortunately, these ‘alcopops’ — as the Marin County officials have taken to calling them — are a premiere target for underage drinkers that think it’s cool to binge drink these frou-frou concoctions. The American Medical Association claims that:

“A majority of teens 17-18 years old (51 percent) and many teens 14-16 years old (35 percent) have tried alcopops, compared to less than a quarter of adults (24 percent).”

Now, that could be because those over 21 know better than to get drunk off these drinks, but that’s a whole other argument for another time.

Hence, Marin County is looking to enforce an alcopop-free zone,  in which local retailers won’t carry the drinks at all.

Put together by Marin County Supervisors Judy Arnold and Steve Kinsey, and following a campaign by San Rafael’s Alcohol Justice, the movement is targeted at a binge drinking epidemic among the county’s teen population.

Statewide, an average of 23 percent of teens that binge drink. Marin’s Tamalpais High School clocks in at 38 percent.

As important as it is to cut down on underage binging, not everyone in the county is ready to clear every last alcopop from the shop shelves. More For Less store manager Miguel Montenegro told the Marin Independent Journal:

“If we do that, what’s going to be next?”

Maybe stores in Marin County need to be better about carding minors. Or that the alcohol sections of these stores are better secured, so booze is harder to boost.

Or maybe somebody needs to teach these youth that there are significantly more entertaining things to do than chug Four Lokos and wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck.

But again, that’s another argument for another time.